A few from 4chan, via Jita.



Statler: "Boy, this Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann anime sure raises a lot of thought provoking questions."

Waldorf: "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Statler: "Why did they have to make it?"

DOHOHOHOHOHO!




Statler: "I tell you, I have never been affected by a show as deeply as Evangelion."

Waldorf: "What was so deep about it?"

Statler: "The sleep it induces!"

DOHOHOHOHOHO!




Statler: Wake up, you old fool! You slept through all of Gundam 00!

Waldorf: Who's the fool? You watched it!

DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

-- godofchaos

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Joe: Where's the money, Lucas?
Lucas: Joe, the money is gone.
Joe: I know it's GONE, where's it gone to?
Lucas: Atlantic City.
Joe: Atlantic City. ...Is it coming back from Atlantic City?
Lucas: I... I don't think so.
Joe: What's it doing in Atlantic City?
Lucas: Recirculating.
Joe: Recirculating?
Lucas: Yeah.
Joe: Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.
Lucas: Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City... I swear!
Joe: Shut up, sit down, and don't you move.
Lucas: [sitting down] It could be in other cities by now...

-- godofchaos

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A true friend stabs you in the front.
-Oscar Wilde

-- godofchaos

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Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face
-Mike Tyson


-- godofchaos

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Calvin (writing, after being asked to explain Newton's First Law of Motion "in his own words"): Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. (speaking) I love loopholes.

-- godofchaos

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Deadpool: My name is Wade Wilson, publicly recognized mutant member of the X-Men known as Deadpool, and I am officially bringing the Great Lakes Champions to justice so that they will be forced to sign the Superhuman Registration Act!
Lieutenant: Uhm, they already registered.
Deadpool: They did?
Lieutenant: They were waiting in line the morning the act was announced.
Deadpool: They were?
Mr. Immortal: I tried to tell you.
Deadpool: But you didn't!
Mr. Immortal: Because you cut my head off!
Deadpool: Oh.
Mr. Immortal: And you're not an X-Man.
Deadpool: I am, too!
Mr. Immortal: You're not even a mutant!
Deadpool: Oh, and you have the card set or something?
Mr. Immortal: Uhm... no.... I, uh...
Deadpool: You do have the card set!
Mr. Immortal: Well, uh...not in mylar or nothin'...just for flipping...
Deadpool: I'd like to flip Shadowcat, she's as ripe as-
Squirrel Girl: Shut your evil, evil pie hole!

-- godofchaos

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To long, and needs the timing and accents.

Click HERE and Watch this

-- godofchaos

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Today's quote is from Act II of Dr. Horrible.

[Holding up his fists] These are not the hammer. [Leaves]
[Beat]
[Returns]
The hammer is my penis.
-Captain Hammer

-- godofchaos

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